July 4th Insomnia

So it's 1 a.m. and it's still a war zone outside... the mortor rounds have been going off since 9 p.m. The dogs are mellowed out now... I guess they are used to it?
I'm going to try to go to bed again...

CV Hartline

So I built this Japanese inspired Pagoda in my back yard... and it's huge! I used wood pallets for the construction...

Retreat, Rethinks, Reminders

this past weekend was fantastic, we retreated with our congregation vibrant for some rest, relaxation and fellowship. it was amazing for me to witness the congregation enjoying time together. we spent time on our own saturday morning experiencing some different forms of prayer including lecito divina, using icons and the labyrinth. in the afternoon and evening we discussed our next steps as a congregation. i really enjoyed hearing why people were drawn to be a part of vibrant... it was a blessing to know that vibrant has a life of it's own now. as vibrant grows up i get clarity of my call, i feel compelled to follow Christ together with all my friends that have become family. i figure i get to be a part of this wonderful vibrant community!

grace peace faith hope mercy love

Therapy

So here I am bering my soul on this 'information super highway.'

Here goes:

I go to a counselor every other week or so to help me connect the dots of my past, present and future. We have mostly talked about how my past experiences and my current perceptions go hand in hand with how I deal with the everyday. I know that we all see the world through our limited expereince, intellect, philosophy, theology, spirituallity, world view, affuence, etc. I experience the world emotionally as well. I get all tied up in feelings. To some degree, my feelings define me more than anything. Yesterday at our Vibrant Leadership meeting one of the people said that he liked when I get passionate about things. I thought about that and I like it when I get passionate about things as well.
Back to therapy:
See I used to get passionate about most things when I was young. I remember laughing more than I do now, being a class clown and all. I used to be much more spontanious and free spirited... now I tend to 'poop' on everything. Not literally of course but figuratively I downgrade the highs and prepare for the lows. I kinda live in a perpetual state of somber, verging on sullen. Needless to say I feel as though I came by this somber life perspective naturally. No matter how I came by it... I'd like my perspective to change. I'm on a journey to figure out what my negative outlook on life 'works' for me. I need to change my perspective on even how I look at my negativity... from 'shitting on eveything' to being 'careful or cautious.' about things. I guess it's a good beginning. I'm hopeful on where we go from here!

Grace and peace,

CV Hartline

New Years Eve

This holiday season was a series of interesting experiences including: a homeless lady named Rita at VooDoo Doughnuts called me cheap after the U2 show, Christmas Day Gathering had 3 people including Liz, Stacy and me, and last night, new years eve, we went to a hockey game couldn't get in because we were 2 hours late so we walked around in the rain. It is sunny right now but it has been raining non stop for days. Last night we celebrated New Years Eve by riding public transportation with lots of interesting people... We wound up watching the first Godfather movie till we went to sleep. We have the gathering tonight and I'm excited that Michael will be leading worship. I gotta go get ready...

Messy KItchen

Well it's 10:26 PM and Stacy, Jessica and Shannon are making baked goods for frienda and neighbors and the kitchen is a mess. Shannon announced that, "there are some burnt pecans if anyone wants any?" I'm watching AFV cause it makes me laugh. I think I got a moving violation on the way back from the office today... we'll see if it comes in the mail. I then went to homedpot to get rat poison and traps. I went under the house to try to find 'the stench... the good news is that I didn't find anything, the bad news is that I didn't find anything... I think it's the sewer. It smells wierder than that though.

Manana

cv

Simon the runner

SIMONSTER likes to run away. After a good 5 block freak out and chase someone helped me catch him. Man o man is puppy training fun! It looks like Simon will have to be on a tie-out until I can trust him...even in the back yard!

Monday Tired

Well it's monday again and I feel tired... a usual feeling on mondays. Last night went really well at the gathering for Vibrant. I'm amazed that I get to be a part of a faith community like Vibrant. This is the first year that I have focused on Jesus' return during advent. This Sunday we will be focusing on the faith of Mary and Joseph and their willingness to follow God's plan. We are also a part of God's plan, just like Mary and Joseph, the question is, are we willing?

Later today I'll be trying to locate the stench that is coming out from under the house. We may have some rodents that have taken up residence for the winter. I'll have my trusty 'rat pipe' that will accompany me on my journey, the question is, am I willing?

CV

New Blog

Hello all! I have finally got a blog!
Some thoughts:
It's a bright sunny day outside but I feel content staying inside for now. I have been on quite a journey this year in life. Last year I was struggling to find my identity, i still am. I feel like I'm in the same place now as I was then, I've just traveled some different trails that I needed to explore in order to understand my angst. I used to pride myself on being unconnected, now I'm compelled to set roots. Roots, commitment, in for the long haul... Vibrant is like everest to me... I had some ideas on how to get up to the top. I planed and calculated the best route. Now I have to climb, I need to climb. I'm trying to move my have to thinking to a get to mentality. I get to climb feels better that having. I don't like having to to anything. Getting to do something feels better and seems more intentional than stuff just happening. Now it's just one step, then another. I couldn't imagine climbing a mountain alone... I don't think we are supposed to! Well people, We aren't in this life to be alone... share life together.

Grace and Peace

CV